You’re Going to Hell
Come on, how many times have you heard that as a Wiccan (or Pagan) that you are going to Hell? How many times have I heard this? Just how are we Wiccans supposed to respond to that statement anyway?
We could be nice: “Thank you for your concern.”
We could be honest: “I don’t believe in Hell. I believe in reincarnation, the ultimate in recycling.”
We could be sardonic: “So I’ll see you at the welcoming Hell-warming party when I get there!”
We could engage in a theological discussion: “What kind of ‘loving’ god would create a place like Hell?” Warning - this one could lead to a very long discussion on the nature of Deity and humans’ place in the grand scheme of things. Choose your debate opponent on this one very carefully. On the flip side, this response usually brings about some very interesting discussions!
This judgement becomes painful when it is heard from the lips of a close friend or family member. My own mother has told me I am going to Hell because of my religious beliefs. Then she usually starts crying for me. It’s a very uncomfortable situation, and no response I can think of will sooth the pain of her certainty that my soul is now damned.
So just how do you as a Wiccan or Pagan respond when someone tells you that you are going to Hell because of your beliefs? Especially when it’s a family member or close friend?
Posted on April 21st, 2008 by Darwin
Filed under: Uncategorized
Coming out of any closet, be it broom or otherwise, is always so difficult, especially when you are trying to tell those who are closest to you. And unfortunately, the many misconceptions the public has about Wicca, paganism, and other non-traditional religious paths feed a fire that can result in angry outbursts or general pleas to ’save your soul’ from damnation.
I’m lucky enough to be part of an open-minded, understanding family from whom the worst I have to fear is the occasional bursting into “Witchy Woman” while on long car trips. However, I have seen many others fall victim to familial persecution when expressing their own beliefs regarding religion.
The most important thing to keep in mind when entering into a conversation like this with someone you care about, (and who ostensibly cares for you as well), is to keep the individual focused on the fact that nothing about you has changed - this is the same ‘you’ they have always known, and just because your revealing something new about yourself doesn’t mean that you are a different person.
It can be hard to keep the conversation focused on much of anything if anger, sadness, or other forms of upset have infringed on your conversation. In cases such as these, it’s good to be prepared with a working knowledge of what the belief structures are of the person you’re telling. If they’re Christian, remind them that according to their own beliefs, it is for God to judge you, not them.
Evangelizing during a time like this with someone you know about how your religion is better than theirs, or theirs is just plain wrong, is opening the door to continued conflict. If they are truly grieving, (such as your mother, and I am so sorry that you have to go through that, I’m sure it’s devastating), allowing them to constructively express their feelings, and letting them pray for you if they wish, gives them the space they need to come to terms with what you are telling them.
Sometimes, even those we care for most can’t handle certain truths about who we are and what we do. In these cases, it is important to know when enough is enough and not to expose yourself (and the other person) again and again to negativity spawned by your religious choice, regardless of whether it is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Sometimes, with emotions, logic doesn’t work and the best thing to do is to keep the relationship as healthy as possible while still not faltering in your own convictions - even if that means giving each other some distance.
Anyway, just some thoughts. Sorry to ramble on and on! I wish you all the best - and all the best to everyone who is having trouble revealing intimate (and sometimes contraversial) details about themselves.
Hello, you should appreciate when your mother loves you. I think you could give her a hug and need not to say anything.
On the other hand some scientists have computed the temperature of heaven and hell. According to bible the sun shines in heaven manyfolds, i forgot the correct number and hell is a sea of fire and sulphur.
The physicist then can compute that hell is cooler than heaven and who wouldn’t want to be there, were the temperature is more moderate
Being raised a Pagan, I have been lucky enough not to have had to deal with that type of criticism from most of my family who did not latter convert.
I have dealt with it a lot through friends and other social relations in the past such as an office environment. Normally, I respond to the comment of “You’re going to Hell” just with a simple thank you. It confuses people.
Depending on who makes the comment and if I am in a frame of mind at the moment to get into a discussion dictates whether or not the conversation goes any further.
With your mom, maybe you could just thank her for caring about your salvation and let her know that you understand that she feels that is important but that she raised a smart person who has the ability to make his own choices on the state of his own soul.
Laura, I never even intended to let her know I was no longer Christian, since I knew her feelings on it. However, I see a need to post my pic on my “about” page
I’m female LOL
Well…I admit to being very uncomfortable with the whole idea of Wiccan and the pentagram and all that. I don’t think it’s up to me to determine who is going to hell.
And I can understand how frustrating that behavior can be. When my father was dying of cancer (I was only 8 so this story is from my mother) his sister told my mom that he was going to go to hell if he didn’t accept Jesus into his heart.
*sigh* Pretty inappropriate even if she believed it to be true. I like to think that my dad is in heaven. But I don’t know what he believed one way or another.
For me, the idea of “witches” scares me. Sorry. That’s just the way I feel. I believe that the bible teaches me that witches, demons, et al are of the devil. But if you don’t believe in a devil then why would you care?
It’s my problem not yours. lol
The only time my dad actually told me I was going to hell was the year I told him I was giving up Catholicism for Lent. Well, *I* thought it was pretty funny… he didn’t quite see it that way.
My siblings are actually pretty cool. So are my friends. It’s random coworkers that I have to watch out for. Most of them I’ll just (mostly) ignore with a polite “thank you.” I did have one that was actively trying to convert me to her brand of Christianity. I finally had to be really blunt (and perhaps a bit harsh) with her: “Listen. I don’t believe in hell. Been there, done that. There’s nothing I fear from you god… nothing he could possibly do to me that’s worse than holding my daughter in my arms as she died. So back the heck off.” After that, she didn’t try as hard to convert me, but she never did give up entirely. I’m really glad I don’t work there any more.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. It makes sense that you wouldn’t want her to know if she was going to react that way.
Darwin, I’m sorry for mistaking you as male. I do apologize for that.
Usually I politely explain that it is impossible for me to go to a place that I don’t believe exists, just as it is impossible for me to worship someone or something that I don’t believe exists. That usually quiets them down, or at least, gives them enough pause that I can get away before they hound me again.
Next time someone tells you that ask them for advice on good hotels in Hell. Or at the very least a road map.
I have several family members who say I’m going to hell. It use to really hurt me, now, I ignore it. I like what Kathy Griffen says…”I have my handbasket all pretty and ready to go!” I find that what someone else thinks of my life is none of my business and I don’t really care. But, sadly, I no longer have a sister as she feels I am satan’s child now. Her loss.